Rey M.
Sobriety date: February 15, 2014
Home group: Mount Hope group
How did you come to be involved in Alcoholics Anonymous?
Rey: My mom and my dad were beautiful, very special parents and they raised us really good. I come from a family of four, all four boys. I’m second to the oldest and my mom and dad were awesome because my dad was a retired detective with LPD and my mom was a retired probation officer from Washtenaw County. I came from a very good, disciplined and very close family. Then, somewhere along the line, in my mid-20s I kind of drifted away. Right? Got a little lost.
Recovery started in Grand Rapids and then it came I bounced over to Lansing and that’s when I was introduced to the Mount Hope group.
It seems like you’ve got a lot of family in that group.
Rey: Yes I do. My mom used to say it only takes one person to break the cycle of addiction in a family. I remember me being sober first and then my dad had gotten sick after retirement. He had gotten very sick and his health was his bottom. My bottom was my freedom. You know, I lost my freedom. I was in and out of county jails all over Michigan. I’ve done time in Ingham, Clinton County, Kent County. Even a long time ago, I spent a little time in Tippecanoe County down in Indiana.
Thank God I had, I had great mentors in the Mount Hope group. We call them the old timers. They pulled me aside and I didn’t hear it when they talked softly, but I did hear it when they kind of talk loudly. There’s a few guys that pulled me aside and just kind of told me, you know, we would love to help you, but your feet don’t match your mouth.
And those are so true. Everything was revealed to me after sitting in jail about 10 months at the Ingham County Jail, working in the kitchen, working my way up from the dish tank all the way up to the bologna sandwich guy. You know, if you were the bologna sandwich guy, that was a pretty good job at the Ingham County Jail.
Then when I thought I was gonna hit the streets and be able to get back to my regular way of thinking, they threw a curveball at me and said, no you’re not gonna hit the streets, you’re gonna go to treatment in Grand Rapids. So that’s when I got sent down to Jellema House, which is a great program.
I actually showed up there super duper sober and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. While I was in jail, I did make use of the time. I worked in the kitchen every day and at night I would read the Big Book. I would sit down read the Big Book, do a little meditation and tell myself I ain’t never coming back here.
At this time, my mom had passed away. I wish my mom was alive today so she could have witnessed my sobriety. Her being a probation officer, she really knew about the AA Big Book. She knew about addiction. She was not an alcoholic or an addict, but she was definitely a qualified member of Al-Anon and she used to leave literature on the table for me. She’d say did you read that? And I’d say “Yeah, mom I read it, but I don’t get it. It’s not for me.” I remember one time she rolled it up and hit me in the head with it and she said, “That’s because you got to read it and read it and read it again.”
When she died I was a mess, but I heard her voice and everything she used to talk to me about at the table. All of a sudden I started applying what she said. I started not just trying, I was doing. And after a while I realized I’m putting 100% effort in and I’m getting a 100% return on my efforts in AA. I remember going to her grave site over at the St. Joe’s Cemetery. I had my one-year coin. And I said, “Mom, I know what you meant. Now I understand everything you taught me and told me. And I remember everything, Mom.” And so then I remember saying, it only takes one person to break the cycle.
I had an issue with relapsing, because through this period of time, I thought I could go back and test the waters after two years. I did that three different times. I got back on the wagon and have not drank since. And every February 15th, I’m just so grateful.
I’ve heard it mentioned that in the morning people can meet you down at the Speedway.
Rey: Since moving back to Lansing I just kind of had a routine that I got really comfortable with. It was waking up, going to Speedway, getting my coffee, getting a donut and, one thing I’ve been working on, my pack of cigarettes, which I know I need to quit.
Over the years I’d always run into the homeless guys that are in that area. I just started to get real comfortable and friendly with everybody. After some years had went by, the staff and the people would go, “Where you off to?” “Well, before I go to work, I go hit a meeting.” Then as time went on, people started knowing here in town that Rey don’t drink anymore.
Some of the homeless guys that hang out there at Speedway, I know them by their first name. I buy them a coffee or share some time with them in the morning just to let them know that life can get better man. Just stay alive, stay warm, hang in there. It was so cool to get to know all of these guys over the years, and since then, a few of them have become sober. A few of them have their own apartments now. They’ve come up to me and give me a big hug, going, “Hey, remember me.” It’s so amazing to see the change in their life and I never realized that I was part of the journey for them to say, “Hey man, if that Mexican painter can quit drinking and can do this and can do that, maybe I can too.”
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